The Untaming of the Shrew

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I am a stubborn person.

I’ll be the first to admit that. I don’t give in easily, I stick to my guns when I think I’m right, and it’s very hard to change my mind.

But why is that a bad thing?

My stubbornness is why I am where I am today. It carried me through high school when I could have easily given up. My single-minded goal of escape is what led me out of my small town. My adamant kindergarten statement that I was going to grow up to be a writer is what led me to journalism school. My determination to chase my dreams led me to Boston, then to Gloucester. My pigheaded denial of homesickness is what kept me there. My inability to give up is ultimately what landed me here, in Durham North Carolina.

Journalism taught me that being stubborn is ok. They pushed me to be persistent, to be stead-fast, and stiff-necked and persevering. They encouraged me to embrace my ingrained stubbornness, and to use it to my advantage. In the eyes of professionals, stubbornness is a good thing.

So why, then, do the negative connotations completely outweigh the positive? Why, when I point out that I’m stubborn, do people immediately jump to the conclusion that I am bull-headed, cantankerous, rebellious, unreasonable, mulish, willful, unmanageable and inflexible? Why am I not tenacious, firm or steadfast? Why shrewish? Why not tough?

I’ve come to embrace my stubborn nature as an asset, not a downfall. I come from a family of strong women and strong role-models. We support each other, we encourage each other to never give up, and we butt heads regularly. But we believe in ourselves, and we persist.

And that, my friends, is a good thing.