The ABCs of Job Hunting

If you had asked me this time last year what my plans were for the job hunt, I could have listed off my plan, my backup plan, my backup for my backup plan, my backup for my backup for my backup plan, and so on. Plan A: Find a job doing marine mammal research, either for a non-profit (first choice), or a government organization (second choice). Plan B: Find a job doing marine research that isn't solely based on marine mammals, but has a marine mammal component. Plan C: Find a communications job in a marine conservation organization. Plan D: Find a job doing marine environmental outreach or education. Plan E: Find a job in any sort of marine or fisheries or environmental organization, using any of my varied freshwater/marine/environmental/communications/outreach experiences as a jumping off point. Preferably a job in North America.

At the time, I felt like I had covered all my bases, and had formed my hierarchy of desired jobs in a way that was specific to what I want to end up doing, but general enough that I could ease in through any possible door. And, truthfully, it started off relatively promising. Months before I even graduated I had interviews for a communications position with a marine conservation organization in Maine, and for a position with the Center for Biological Diversity in Alaska. During the few months following graduation I interviewed for a position with a consulting firm in Hawaii doing work with spinner dolphins, and a temporary communications job with the Canadian Wildlife Federation in Ottawa. Each organization had their good reasons for not hiring me and truthfully, with the exception of the job in Alaska, none of the positions sounded all that great for me at that point in time anyways. But, as time wore on and no more interviews came my way, I started to get a little panicked. I expanded to different job types, sent out unsolicited resumes to any marine organization I came across, and even started applying for jobs overseas. And still, no bites.

The other day, at my annual checkup, I was chatting with my family doctor about being unemployed. She asked me what my Plan B was, and I honestly couldn't answer her. I have reached the point where my plans have all jumbled together into one huge, overwhelming goal. And when Plan A is finding employment, what the hell is Plan B?

For a very brief period of time (on one of my panicky days), I debated going back to school and doing a PhD. I even emailed a prof at Dalhousie that I've wanted to work with for years, asking if he had any spots open in his lab. During the hour it took for him to respond, I had created pro and con lists, decided that I would only do a PhD in Canada (preferably east coast) because I needed to get a foot in the door for the Canadian job market (since I discovered that training in the States doesn't make it any easier whatsoever to find a job there as a foreigner), and would only do a PhD if the funding was enough to cover living costs. But then I got the reply, and the whole thrown-together Plan B went out the window. The prof, while he was thought I had a "very impressive resume" (a line which I HATE, by the way... it's like a guy walking up to you at a bar and saying "you have such beautiful eyes..." Total cop-out. But I digress...), informed me that he had taken on too many grad students in the past few years, and it would be "a long long time" before he could take on anymore. He then let me know that in Canada, in this field, labs generally only take on grad students if they come with their own full funding, which is really hard to get. I've tried in the past and failed miserably (hence grad school in the States...). That, combined with the fact that it's another 4 or 5 years of school, do not make a PhD very appealing. So I quickly came to my senses and decided to scrap that plan.

But what does that leave me with now? I've been unemployed for almost a year, and I'm totally stuck. I suppose I could start looking into doing another unpaid internship to "gain experience" and pass the time... but I feel like I spent too much financially, mentally and emotionally on grad school to take such a huge step backwards. Plus, I already did the unpaid internship thing for a year, and I feel like I've paid my dues. But would being able to put another (more recent) job experience on my resume be worth swallowing my pride for? Maybe the fact that I'm not doing anything "in the meantime" is hurting my chances of getting interviews, because it looks like I'm not taking initiative. I don't know.... I've been wrestling with these dilemmas for months now, and I am nowhere near finding the answer. Any input or advice would be great at this point... maybe some fresh ideas will get things rolling again.

In the meantime, I'll be continuing the eternal search and application process, and keeping my fingers crossed that something pans out.

The Vanished Blogger

To those of you following my blog, it may have seemed as if I dropped off the face of the earth approximately a year ago. And, in the case of the blog, I did. I'm not entirely sure why I stopped writing and updating throughout the year. Maybe I got too busy, or succumbed to the curse of "Beaufort time", or just decided that I didn't need to share all the details of my life with the inter-web. Honestly? I can't remember. But I've hit a point where I've decided to pick the blog back up again and run with it... or at least take it for a leisurely stroll during my spare time. But, since I am no longer in North Carolina, the title just didn't fit anymore. And the old layout was, well, old. So, after a quick overhaul and a subtle face lift, I present you with my "new" old blog.

Wading Through Life.

Because, really, that's all I'm doing right now. I'm not anywhere in particular, I'm not starting a new chapter of my life (*yet... but hopefully soon?), I'm not floundering or drowning or floating... I'm just wading, passing the time in the company of the gentle melancholy that seems to accompany the sand and salt between your toes.

Now for the obligatory update as to what I've been up to in the last year. Here goes...

Since I last wrote, I did indeed make it back to Beaufort, North Carolina, safe and sound. I attended the last few classes of my educational career; wrote, edited, submitted and presented my thesis; graduated; moved a couple of times and spend some time living out of hotels (long story); said goodbye to my friends yet again, then drove home to attend my sister's wedding. And, because of the type of temporary US visa I had, I was barred from returning to the States without a job. So instead, I moved back home with the pup and settled in "temporarily" to enjoy the summer while trying to find employment in the US, completely unsuccessfully. Since then, my work visa for the States has expired, and I've put out literally hundreds of job applications and unsolicited resumes all over the world to try to find work, and have had no luck. So here I sit, kicking my feet in the metaphorical sea of life, just trying to figure out what comes next. And for now, that is what this blog is about. I'm not going to guarantee that things aren't going to get ugly up in here (because sometimes, things just ARE ugly), but you're welcome to follow along if you so desire. Fingers crossed that this phase of the blog, the wading, will be short-lived and that soon I will have moved on to a new job, a new location, and a new chapter. A Canuck in (fill in the blank*).

*I am wide open to suggestions... within reason, and within my profession, please!

Snowverload 2010 : A Smattering of Photos

Alright, as promised here are some pics of the last couple o' days. Enjoy!

Koda made herself right at home when we got to the hotel. Guess I should have asked for a king-sized bed!


What I woke up to this morning. My room faces the woods, so it's actually quite pretty!






My car! I think...


After I tried to clear it off to get some stuff for Koda... The doors are frozen shut.


Koda loves the snow...


...even if it is a little deep...


But even though the snow is pretty inconvenient, I have to admit I'm kinda loving it. What can I say? I'm a winter child!

Snowed In: Maryland Edition

Yesterday I started my long drive from Almonte back to Beaufort, North Carolina. Under normal circumstances, I would almost be there by now. Instead, I am stuck in a hotel room in Cockeysville, Maryland, watching a record-breaking blizzard blow outside my window.

At about 1:30 yesterday I stopped in Lebanon, Pennsylvania for lunch, where a concerned retired truck driver cornered me as I was getting out of my truck to tell me about the impending winter storm. He noticed my license plate was Canadian, and told me that if I continued south on I-83 (which I was intending on doing), I was going to drive right into it in about an hour. He suggested I just stay put, get a room at the hotel beside the Wendy's (which was also close to a gas station, a mechanic, and two convenience stores), and just hunker down. For the next Two Days.

Two Days?? In Lebanon, Pennsylvania??? I don't think so. So I politely said I'd consider his advice, grabbed my number 8 combo to go, and headed back out to the interstate.

About an hour later, the flurries started. Nothing major, just a few flakes that left the roads wet. But a few minutes after they started, I looked around and realized that I was the only south-bound car on the interstate. A fact that, truthfully, made me a little uneasy... yet I continued driving for another half hour or so. Soon enough, I passed a "Welcome to Maryland!" sign, and decided that I shouldn't try to get through Baltimore that afternoon (since the retired truck driver had told me they were calling for the worst snow there). So, remembering another time I had stopped at a great condo-style hotel just inside the Maryland border, I decided to look for it again. A few lucky turns and familiar-looking town names lead me right to the hotel, where I optimistically booked a room for one night. And at 4:30 or so, I found myself lying on a couch in my suite's living room (after preparing Koda's dinner in the full kitchen), watching the plasma TV. Not too shabby for a $100 room. But when my stomach started growling around 6:00, I decided to find somewhere to grab dinner. I donned my sneakers and puffy vest, leashed Koda, and stepped outside... into about 4 inches of snow. Already. That was the point when I realized I might be here longer than I hoped. So I hit up a grocery store, grabbed some muffins, fruit and other essentials to get me through a day, and hunkered in for the night.

This morning, I woke up to about 21 inches of snow on the ground, with reports of at least 10 more coming. More than I saw in Canada over the last two months! The weather reports are taking over all the local TV channels, and it's reported that this is the most snowfall in years. And of course, since I'm heading to North Carolina where it's supposed to be warm and snow-free, I didn't bother bringing my winter boots or jacket. Which means that when I take Koda outside, I'm wading through ass-deep snow drifts wearing jeans and sneakers. Which, contrary to popular belief, is not the warmest or driest outdoor gear... and yet I can't help but laugh at the irony of the situation, and at Koda jumping into snow drifts that cover up to the tips of her ears. It's pretty hilarious!

So for now I'm hunkered down, wearing my pyjamas and watching TV (because my wet jeans are the only real clothes I packed in my overnight bag, and the rest of my stuff is buried in my car under a couple feet of snow. Plus, the doors are currently frozen shut, which I realized when I tried to un-bury Chazz enough to grab some stuff for Koda.) I'm hoping that the snow ends by tonight, and the plows make the roads passable by tomorrow... but reports are conflicting as to whether or not the Maryland National Guard is going to be able to dig us out by then. In the meantime I guess I'll just enjoy the forced relaxation, laugh at Koda in the snow, and take some pictures of the beautiful-yet-heavy blanket of white which is covering literally everything.

Photos to come soon!

Fall-ing

Today, it feels like fall has FINALLY arrived. And I couldn't be happier. All day I've felt that need to be cozy that appears when the weather first starts to get cold... the desire to curl up in a blanket, put on a good movie I've seen a million times, and hibernate for a couple of hours. The grocery store all of a sudden has apple cider, and pomegranates, and pumpkins, and a huge variety of squash. I bought nutmeg, ginger and cinnamon sticks in preparation for my weekend. I wore a cozy jacket to the beach this afternoon (although my feet were bare... and are now slightly frozen). Tonight's dinner is creamy sweet potato soup (possibly with a "Fall Harvest" beer...).

It's the south. It's "cold" (aka, warm for this time of year in Canada), and I am remembering why I love fall so much.

So now I'm going to go find my fuzzy blanket, curl up on the couch, and nap in front of 'Love Actually'. Anticipating a brilliant weekend of similar pursuits :)

Sweet Potatoes: The Indecisive Tubers

I just don't get sweet potatoes.

Sure, on the outside they kind of look like potatoes... but cut them open and they're the colour of cantaloupe. Slice them into "fries", they look like carrot sticks. They're in the vegetable category, but they taste sweet like fruit.

What gives?

I'm still on the fence about the presence of sweet potatoes on my grocery list. Fries are currently in the oven... we'll see how they rank.

The Sand Dollar

Today, I took a walk on the beach.

Ever since my first here, I’ve wanted to find a whole sand dollar. One intact, perfectly round, pristinely white sand dollar. That’s not too much to ask, right? So every day as Koda and I take our stroll I keep my eyes on the damp sand, looking for the telltale curve of delicate ivory.

Today, the beach was a necessity. With Koda, a travel mug full of calming coffee, and sand between my toes, I walked to achieve sanity and balance. The beach, uncrowded and cool, was the type of setting that matched my mood so perfectly it would have had my grade 12 English teacher jumping up and down in ecstasy yelling “can you see the pathetic fallacy??” (She really loved her literary devices…) The sky was dark, on the verge of rain that, besides a few stray drops, it managed to keep contained. The wind was strong and chaotic, blowing in all directions at once. The waves churned and crashed on the shore, as if releasing the pent up frustrations and furies of the day. And so, in the company of my pathetic fallacy, I walked.

I decided that today would be the day I would find my sand dollar. Today was the day I needed to find my sand dollar. Finding this elusive sand dollar would make the frustrations and life’s little annoyances fade to the background, and my foul mood would disappear. And so I searched. I looked purposefully and thoroughly, treading carefully in the sand and poking at anything white with my toes. Then when that didn’t pan out, I heeded the old advice that when you stop looking for something, that’s when you’ll find it. So I stopped looking. And guess what?


I didn’t find my sand dollar.

I know that’s not the answer you were expecting, but that’s the end result. I spent over an hour (days, weeks…) searching for my perfect sand dollar, and never found it. I was fully expecting to find it. I figured that I would stumble over it accidentally, a sign that perfection existed somewhere in this world, and that it was within my reach. I didn’t find what I was looking for.

But I realized something on that beach. Sometimes, even if you don’t find what you’re looking for, you stumble across something beautiful and unexpected. A piece of coral washed up on the sand, a deep orange shell so large it could be used as a drinking glass, a piece of a conch which, if intact, could very well be the size of your head. And all of a sudden it doesn’t matter that it isn’t round, or pristine white. It becomes special and perfect in its own way.

And I also realized that I was passing over beautiful shards of sand dollars, halves and quarters and three-quarters, just because they weren’t perfect. They weren’t complete. But maybe that is the beauty of sand dollars: while they are lovely and pure in their unflawed form, they show a fragility and weakness that other tougher shells don’t exhibit. They lose pieces of themselves along the way, sometimes only a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes they lose so much that they are barely recognizable. But they are still beautiful, still perfect in their imperfections. Maybe, just maybe, they are waiting to be picked up, waiting for that one thing that will make them feel whole again.

Maybe that’s all we can hope for… to love our imperfections. To find what makes us feel whole.

Today I took a walk on the beach. Today, I feel better.